Wednesday, December 02, 2009

So that's what you're telling me, eh?

Someone named Taylor Lautner is on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine and it ticks me off. On one hand, he’s not even a musician, which, in a perfect world, would tend to disqualify him from being on the cover of one of the most influential music magazines on the planet. On the other hand, it ticks me off because men are more like women than I would care to admit.

The fact that women can become insanely jealous of each other’s looks, possessions, and social status is as much of a secret as a pair of slacks in a 99 cent store. The thing that is much more surprising is that men aren’t immune to this kind of thing, no matter how much we may deny it. Now, we may not eye each other like women do, but we certainly notice things about other human beings dependent on testosterone. Chicks have it better anyway in their examinatory comings and goings. We're not so much to look at. We would definitely eye a woman up and down if we were you, but we’re probably not be going over the same kind of checklist that you lovely creatures from the other side of the aisle are.

A big area where I think we genders differ is in the way we relate to the person we’re checking out. Women tend to look at the other woman’s clothes and sense of style, combine it with a quick judgment of her character, and then ascertain whether or not she looks good or not. It might be more accurate to say that it’s not just how she looks or what she’s wearing, but how she’s wearing it and if she seems to be showing sufficient humility for what she's been given. Guys look at other guys and use a different set of criteria. We look at another guy and wonder why in the world the beautiful woman on his arm would want to be with him. Then, many times, we get jealous.

I’m not suggesting that I don’t look also look at the (often inane) fashion choices made by other dudes. I do, and believe you me, most guys are clueless and would probably do better if their moms dressed them. Here’s what I am driving at. I am not as jealous of certain guys if I feel that they deserve what they have. Tom Hanks? He’s just so down-to-earth and up front with who he is that he probably deserves more credit than he gets. Bono? He may be a little annoying sometimes, but he’s got the major charisma factor thing going. Plus, he’s a fantastic writer. Both of those guys are married to beautiful women and seem like they're really happy, so for these and the above reasons, they get a pass.

But Taylor Lautner? Who the heck is he? What has he done to deserve all these thousands of people (especially women) drooling over him? What has he done to deserve the level of fame he’s going to have for, potentially, the rest of his life? He pretended to be a werewolf in a movie? He pretended to be a werewolf in a movie.

This is where I suppose I take a page from the manual of the sisterhood. I look at that picture and just don’t get why he should have all that stuff and I don’t.

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